Josh rushed back home and he saw his mum. He was sweating and his heart was beating louder than a drum. Next to him, Charlie stood with trembling hands and eyes as big as the moon. As quick as a cheetah, Mum grabbed her coat and ran to where Josh saw the accident happen.
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AMAZING BRILLIANT FANTASTIC”!!!!! I love how you did the story. What made you think of this? can you add some adjectives more often please.
AMAZING JOB!! I really like the suspence in these few sentences and I like the simile ‘his heart was beating faster then a drum’ mabe you could use a better word for saw?