The Phantom Figure by Callum@Belmont

Although Tom has the feeling of dread in his stomach, he entered the master bedroom.  Perched on the end of the bed was a phantom-like figure and he had never seen anything like it before.  The figure, who seemed to be clutching a rose, starred at an empty corner.  A tear dropped onto her threadbare dress.  Her mouth trembled, as sounds that Tom couldn’t understand came out of her mouth.  Her hands shook, as Tom moved closer.

2 Responses to “The Phantom Figure by Callum@Belmont”

  1. Wow, this is great! Could you spell-check stared? For an improvement, you could possibly change has to had, and that would put in all the same tense.

  2. 1 good punctuation full stops and comas
    2 maybe you could write a bit more
    3 good blog

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