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The Phantom Figure by Maksym@Belmont

Although he was petrified to the core, Paul entered Suite 5.  Perched on the windowsill was a phantom figure like nothing he had seen before.  The young girl, who seemed to be dressed in old-fashioned rags, glanced at Paul.  Her eyes were as dark as obsidian and in her hand was a spoon.  A single tear fell to her scarlet lips.

2 Responses to “The Phantom Figure by Maksym@Belmont”

  1. Hi I’m Connor from Chorley St James and I really like the sentence “Although he was petrified to the core, Paul entered Suite 5”.
    What do you mean by “old fashioned rags”?
    Could you extend the last part a bit?
    Anyway great work!

  2. I like how you said were he was. Could you use a different word for windowsill. I dont think you need any improvements.

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