The Phantom Figure by Maksym@Belmont
Although he was petrified to the core, Paul entered Suite 5. Perched on the windowsill was a phantom figure like nothing he had seen before. The young girl, who seemed to be dressed in old-fashioned rags, glanced at Paul. Her eyes were as dark as obsidian and in her hand was a spoon. A single tear fell to her scarlet lips.
Hi I’m Connor from Chorley St James and I really like the sentence “Although he was petrified to the core, Paul entered Suite 5”.
What do you mean by “old fashioned rags”?
Could you extend the last part a bit?
Anyway great work!
I like how you said were he was. Could you use a different word for windowsill. I dont think you need any improvements.