Suspense Writing by Maggie SWW

Cautiously, Olive crept towards the back door. Clasping her hand around the cold, metal doorknob, she stifled a yawn. Fortunately, she could still hear the rumbling snore of the rest of her family.

Once onto the dew-blanketed lawn, she relaxed a little. She snuck down the backstreets, pattered under the bridge, and clambered over the rickety fence into the marshes. A thick fog hovered over the mud, and the trees surrounding the swamp cast hideous shadows.

Olive found a tree stump, and sat down, waiting. She was urging to see the marsh frog again. But where was it? She was growing itchy with impatience.

Just as she thought she saw a glimpse of mouldy, greasy-slick skin, thudding footsteps caught her attention. As she spun round, a masked face greeted her. Leaping off the tree stump, Olive ran. She didn’t look behind her once, just focused on getting to the fence.

Unfortunately, though, in her rush to flee from the ebony silhouette, she had forgotten all about the boggy marshes underfoot, that she had heard so many dangerous tales about…

3 Responses to “Suspense Writing by Maggie SWW”

  1. A great story! I really like it! I love the line ‘she stifled a yawn’! Have you wrote suspense writing before? I would suggest to maybe add more ellipsis or exclamation marks!

  2. I love how used a fronted adverbial at the start.
    Could you use a short sentence?
    Try not to do any typo’s

  3. Excellent work Maggie! Your grammar is great, punctuation spot on and no spelling mistakes. Your similes are creative and really make the reader feel the stifled yawn and cold metal door nob. I could only suggest next time instead of using commas to great the suspense, shortening the sentences. Short, snappy sentences. You’ve used excellent power of 3 on multiple occasions which really creates the characters feelings and surroundings.

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