The Abandoned Theme Park

Cautiously, Taian plodded around ‘Polus’ theme park. It was abandoned long ago and he knew he shouldn’t be there. The overgrowth and darkness made it impossible for him to see anything but silhouettes over five meters in front.

Wanting something more interesting to do, he paced towards the silhouette of a tall ride; it was designed to pull you up and drop you down at high speeds. It was appropriately named ‘The Dropship.’

The shaft was dented and slightly bent, but apart from that and the lack of safety features it looked secure As he approached, a metal floor board rattled and the ride kicked into life. Bewildered, he stumbled back but was pushed back on by a cold frail hand.

Taian screamed, louder than he thought was possible, but it was too late. The ride was already on the way up. he heard cackling and he thought it would be the last thing he ever heard. Then it dropped…

10 Responses to “The Abandoned Theme Park”

  1. I like how you begin with cautiously

  2. it was really good and it was really curious

  3. 1. I like the end part were it said then it dropped…
    2.maybe you could add him running out of the park?

  4. I love how you managed to fit in the references with it sounding a bit weird! I love your style of writing, keep up the good work!

  5. 1 I like how you thought of an abandoned theme park.
    2 What you think of an abandoned theme park?
    3 maybe next time you could make it a creepy Setting.

  6. I like how you ended with a cliffhanger

  7. Hi Howard,
    1. like the start well done
    2. what made think of the cliff hanger?
    3. you could improve on the ed ing ly starters

    other than that well done keep posting!

  8. Great job this is amazing! but you forgot a full stop.

  9. Well done, I will think about this when I go on another ride like this one.

  10. Hey, Howard! You made references to Among Us didn’t you? Polus, and when the hand grabs him – it’s a really impressive idea. I liked reading it, but you missed a full stop: ‘looked secure _ As he approached’ . Otherwise, it is very good!

    Well done,
    Magda – Sacred Heart

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