The Deadly Night

It was a dark night. Thunder struck the tree nearby and almost hit Anna. She screamed and shivered with fear and as she ran away she ran straight into a tree. There was something behind her. She looked but there was nothing there. Fog covered the streets making it hard for her to find her way. She headed towards the light but as she got there the lights turned out.

Anna ran towards an old, creepy looking mansion. She tumbled through the door and slammed it shut. Wind whistled through a broken window next to her. She crept upstairs but suddenly a bright red eye rolled down the stairs next to her! Where had it come from?

2 Responses to “The Deadly Night”

  1. Mrs K @ Quethiock November 26, 2020 at 10:26 am

    I love that way that you have showed your character’s fear.
    Can you think of words which could be used instead of there to reduce the repetition?
    Try to open sentences in different ways to avoid ‘she, she, she’.

  2. Kelsey and Ethan from Quethiock
    We have just read you thing we think it is amazing.
    How did you think of a deadly night story?
    Can you try not to use so meany shes try and use she, her and her name.
    that is all.Well done you two

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