The girl and the shadow India SWW
The girl and the Shadow
She creeped into her bedroom, but then her dad said “I’m leaving now” he shouted.
“ok bye ”
But when her Dad left but she still felt that there was someone their with her but not like a person like a soul a shadow. Suddenly, all of the doors slammed behind her , glass shattering and the sound of Satan’s heart so there was no noise .
But then she fell to the ground her heart beating like never before, then all you hear is the sound of a innocent girl being controlled. All of a sudden, the clouds go dark gray with thunder and lightning .
Suddenly, it turned 1am ,only the soul comes out at 12pm because that when people who have died in there past life can come a live ones again.
15 years later ……
I’m 25 now this happened when I was 10 I have never felt so emotional In my entire life , I’m not so sure of what happened but I do know that I possessed.
I really like this story and it has a lot of suspense. Have you done suspence writing before? It is really good however there are some places where you have put a instead of an. What tense are you writing it in.
It is very good and that is why I commented on it!!!
Oh India your mind has endless creativity! Well done! There’s attention to detail mistakes which I think you will see once you read over it again.
We can breakdown what to check for when you read back over your work into; spellings, punctuation, format.
Read over your pieces once checking only spellings. Then go back over another time and check only for punctuation. Then finally read over one last time to make sure the format and flow is there – this means it’s easy to read and understand.
You’re doing really well India, keep working!