Lucy didn’t know where she was or how she got there. Cobwebs hung like thread on a needle in the corners of the room. A shiver tiptoed down her spine. Wind gushed through the ajar window. Lucy’s silky ebony hair brushed over her face. She swept it away as she tried to hold in her tears of fear. Then, out of nowhere a cold, deathly breath hovered at the back of her neck. Something or someone was there with her.”hello is anyone there” Lucy mumbled through her shivers.
No response. The poor girl luckily found a tatted blanket to hide under. Quickly throwing the blanket over head, the door opened with age. Lucy’s heart sprinted under her skin. SLAM the door closed foot steps punched the creaky floorboard. A white gloved hand grabbed the blanket and revealed the mystery. Lucy was never seen again…
I loved how you said at the end Lucy was never seen again
What inspired you to make a really good fiction book
You could make it a tiny bit more scary by adding all of a sudden somone slammed the upstairs door
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I liked how you made the story scary I think you could improve the story by making it a bit more interesting
I loved how you said at the end Lucy was never seen again
What inspired you to make a really good fiction book
You could make it a tiny bit more scary by adding all of a sudden somone slammed the upstairs door
1 I like how you use interesting vocabulary.
2 were did she find the blanket ?
3 why don’t you add a bit more to your paragraph.
Maybe you could describe the figure a bit more. Why did you decide to do it in this setting.i like the idea and the setting.
great effort and i like it when you said she was never sean agen