The Wild Wood – Henry SWW
The Wild Wood
Sam slowly snuck down the stairs then crept into the kitchen. Looking around she saw Honey, their dog sleeping soundly in her cage. Thunder rumbled over head. She shivered. She walked over to the door and tiptoed outside. The wind howled like a wild dog lightning blinded her eyes as if she was staring at the sun.
After a while, Sam reached the Winding Wood. She took the narrow path then sat down on the damp grass. She hadn’t slept well last night, most of the time she was worrying about her big sister, who had gone to university. A while later Sam fell to sleep.
Moments later he woke with a startle. Something was breathing . When she got up to run, she felt something engraved in the tree next to her. She read aloud, “ANYONE WHO ENTERS WILL NEVER SEE LIGHT AGAIN.” She swallowed, then bolted. She jumped over logs, ran through streams and hit branches out of her face.
A while later she reached the main road, surprisingly there was actually quite a lot of cars. Then she heard it again, the high pitched breathing in his ear. He didn’t know how to stop it. He sat down wondering what it was.
Suddenly, he woke up. He just realized it was just a bad dream so he got up and went to have some breakfast.
Hi wow I love that you sued the word snuck.
When you put when he woke up do you mean she?
Maybe describe the cars?
This is great Henry! What a great story! You’ve done well to use short sentences in the first paragraph to create suspense. I think you could have split the last sentence of the first paragraph into two separate sentences. In your second paragraph – we don’t fall to sleep we fall asleep.
I am a bit confused as you have used ‘her’ a lot but at the end you use ‘his’ so it is unsure who the subject actually is at this point.
You’ve done really well to format everything correctly and your use of punctuation is almost perfect! Great work!