I’ve never…

I’ve never eaten a cat or a dog

but I have eaten a slug and crickets.

I’ve never run as fast as the Flash

but I have ran as fast as a panda.

I’ve never met the queen

but i have met a sausage.

I’ve never gone to space

but I have been to the toilet.

I’ve never  seen a UFO

but I like to eat flying saucer sweets.

I’ve never pooped out a carrot

but I have eaten one.

I’ve never jumped off Mount Everest

but I have rolled down a hill,