The Rising Phoenix

The sky ship rose like a Phoenix rising from the ashes ingulfed in a whirlpool flames. The speed made it unbearable to stand without holding on to something. Isabel, clung onto the mast for dear life, but her younger brother Arthur seemed to enjoy rising into the clouds like a dolphin leaping from the depth of the ocean. All off a sudden, with a shudder, the sky ship stopped, they had reached the river of never-ending clouds. Some people believed there were beasts with claws and no teeth, which lived up there others believed there were beasts with teeth and no claws. All that is sure is someone or something would be watching their every move. 

2 Responses to “The Rising Phoenix”

  1. Annabelle, what a great story opening! You’ve listened carefully to Pie and you’ve got your contrasting characters in, and I really like your description of the river of never ending clouds. can you read the first sentence again? I wonder if you can tighten it up a little to avoid the repetition of rose/rising?

  2. I like your fronted adverbials.

Please leave a comment. Remember, say something positive; ask a question; suggest an improvement.

%d bloggers like this: