The room of magic
I stood in the room of clocks,
trying to see what the time is.
I stood in the room of planes,
as I fly up.
I stood in the room of storm,
as I got soaked.
I stood in the room of cars,
whizzing past my face.
I stood in the room of suns,
The toast burned.
I stood in the room of humans,
I couldn’t see so I got lost.
I stood in the room of paper,
As I got a paper cut
I stood in the room of rusted metal,
I tried to avoid touching it.
I stood in the room of jumpers,
I wear it.
I stood in the room of wishes,
I made a wish.
I stood in the room of air,
I took a deep breath.
I stood in the room of paint,
I started colouring.
I stood in the room of light,
I could barely open my eye.
Finally, I wandered in the room of fathers,
Trying to pick me up.
I liked I stood in the room of air, I took a deep breath.
What was your wish?
Could you say open my eyes instead of eye?
I really liked were you ended it!
Whats your wish?
Maybe instead of saying I could barely open my eye instead say I could barely see?
I like the room of cars and how they,re whizzing past that really makes a picture in my head about car racing well done and same with every room.
Well done! This is a great poem. My favourite was: ‘I stood in the room of paper…’.
My question is: In the room of fathers is the character’s father in there?
To make this even better maybe you could add a little bit about whether the father was with someone else!
Great job! I think this is really good!
I like your description and your choice of words
some sentences don’t make sense
mayby don’t leave so many gaps inbetwene each sentences
1. i like the fact that you added the storm room and you got soaked.
2. could add a cloud room?
3.Mabye add some more like the room of lava.