Been given a Kraken? Need to know how to raise and fulfil its every need? Then look no further! For £49.99, we are going to send you an instruction manual to cater for its every need! But wait, there’s more!
Call in the next 10 minutes and receive a free cruise ship toy for it to play fetch with! For free!
- A man-made island in the middle of a trade route
- An evil lair
- A self brought storm cloud that causes turmoil and chaos
- A screwdriver
First of all, train your Kraken to come to you at the sight of a screwdriver (in case of house repairs).
Next, gently pet it with the screwdriver so it doesn’t harm you, just ships.
Once trained, release into the wild and wait 10 hours in a hope to catch it on National Geographic.
Remember, a Kraken isn’t just for Christmas…