Kerpow Opening
The wind howled cars honked people gossiped he slowly tapped on the table. To his surprise the door slowly creaked open, an ominous figure stood in the abyss.The world went silent,tom shivered.
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1. I really like how you have used personification in your paragraph
2. Where is Tom?
3. In your first line, you have a list of three but its has no commas. Also Tom needs a capital letter. Also you have used commas instead of full stops.
Actually, they didn’t use commas instead of full stops. They used it for suspense.
v the vocabulary is nice
I really Like how there is a lot of constant suspense !
I like how there is lots of suspense and it ends in a cliffhanger. Could you use better words? Maybe try to improve your grammar next time.