The thought by Dylan TJS
The old abandoned house towered over Bob as he cautiously entered in. The morning geese continued to squawk at him like protesters, but thankfully the walls insulated the sound, so he could concentrate on finding his beloved sister.The sun pierced through the worn blinds like lasers of yellow, but nevertheless he continued to be haunted by his sister’s empty bed. Lilly, Bob’s sister, was loved by most of her family, Bob the most, but she would have never ran away, which made Bob question himself “could she have ran away because I didn’t share my ice cream or because she was in a bad mood?” but Bob realised, she didn’t want to run… she needed to.
Great! I love the way you build up the tension, and I love the phrase ” The morning geese continued to squawk at him like protesters.”
Great sentences, the tension build up is brilliant, but I would change the name to something else because it ruins the build up a little bit.