How to Care for a Pet Centaur
Are you fed up of having the same pet over and over again? Are you fed up of having a waterfall and not knowing what to do with it? Are you fed up with no one to talk to when you are lonely? Do you have a lot of money and do not know what to do with it? If so, it looks like you need a pet Centaur.
You will need:
- A big open fenced off grassy space to keep them protected.
- Huge mango trees with large canopies to shelter from the sun on hot days.
- Shampoo and conditioner : apple flavour.
- Horse brush to make their coat silky.
- Gentle waterfall to wash and bath them under.
- Grape vine and occasional rainbow cupcakes (home made) for them to snack on.
- A selection of books that must include all the Harry Potter series.
- A couple of friends to keep it company such as reindeer, Unicorn, Zebra or a horse.
Instructions for how to Create the Perfect Centaur Environment.
- First, fence a large open grassy space (2 centaurs would need about 4 acres), make sure you put a secure gate in the fence.
- Next, install a 5m high waterfall in the corner of the enclosure (www.amazon.co.uk approximately £1000)
- Test the pressure of the waterfall by standing underneath it, if it doesn’t give you a good massage then increase the force of the bubbles.
- Then have an exotic fruit salad to eat.
- Keep all the seeds from your fruit salad.
- Next, plant the seeds in the field diagonally from the waterfall.
- Search far and wide for a wizard (see section on Harry Potter), the wizard will make the trees grow into a mature forest, to cover at least 1 acre.
- Grow a grapevine travelling around the fence.
- Buy a grooming kit; this must include shampoo, conditioner and a selection of brushes (human and horse.)
- Finally, purchase a posh greenhouse and install the internet and a tv linked to You Tube and a library shelved with books that must contain all the Harry Potter stories.