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How to Care for a Pet Centaur

How to Care for a Pet Centaur 

 

Are you fed up of having the same pet over and over again? Are you fed up of having a waterfall and not knowing what to do with it? Are you fed up with no one to talk to when you are lonely? Do you have a lot of money and do not know what to do with it? If so, it looks like you need a pet Centaur. 

You will need:

  • A big open fenced off grassy space to keep them protected. 
  • Huge mango trees with large canopies to shelter from the sun on hot days.
  • Shampoo and conditioner : apple flavour.    
  • Horse brush to make their coat silky.  
  • Gentle waterfall to wash and bath them under.  
  • Grape vine and occasional rainbow cupcakes (home made) for them to snack on.     
  • A selection of books that must include all the Harry Potter series.
  • A couple of friends to keep it company such as reindeer, Unicorn, Zebra or a horse. 

 

                                                                                            

Top Tips 

  • Give your Centaur as much love as you want it to give you.
  • To exercise your Centaur do Joe Wicks or gymnastics classes.

Instructions for how to Create the Perfect Centaur Environment.

 

  1. First, fence a large open grassy space (2 centaurs would need about 4 acres), make sure you put a secure gate in the fence.  
  2. Next, install a 5m high waterfall in the corner of the enclosure (www.amazon.co.uk approximately £1000)
  3. Test the pressure of the waterfall by standing underneath it, if it doesn’t give you a good massage then increase the force of the bubbles. 
  4. Then have an exotic fruit salad to eat.
  5. Keep all the seeds from your fruit salad.
  6. Next, plant the seeds in the field diagonally from the waterfall. 
  7. Search far and wide for a wizard (see section on Harry Potter), the wizard will make the trees grow into a mature forest, to cover at least 1 acre. 
  8. Grow a grapevine travelling around the fence.
  9. Buy a grooming kit; this must include shampoo, conditioner and a selection of brushes (human and horse.)
  10. Finally, purchase a posh greenhouse and install the internet and a tv linked to You Tube and a library shelved with books that must contain all the Harry Potter stories.
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