My story-Alice-TJS-H
Shelia grasped the knife in her hand, crouching behind the tent. It was coming, she could see it, coming, creeping, oh-………………..
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I love this, it has so much suspense but why have you used coming twice
I love how you are building the tension. This sentence has me wondering what will happen next.
“It was coming, she could see it, coming, creeping, oh-………………..”
Perhaps next time you could include showing not telling how Shelia was feeling. Her heart thumped loudly in her chest.
Great job!
Mrs Pearton @ St Martin’s CE School.