The Street Dancing Unicorn

It is important that you can recognise these dangerous creatures, as this could save your life one day. The street dancing unicorn wears a yellow and grey stripy t-shirt with the letter ‘U’ on it. It has stiff grey fur and dancing fever (yes, dancing fever is a real middle ages disease, where they literally died of dancing too much from heat exhaustion). The street dancer has no wings to travel with, so for long distances they float along instead. If you see a unicorn dancing at the front of a conga line, then beware, because if you join you may dance until you drop! 

Typically, the street dancing unicorn lives in dull and boring cities like Liverpool and Blackpool. They live here because there are plenty of fresh victims. Their magic horn forces people to dance non-stop and when the victim finally drops to the floor, they eat them up. Being in a big, busy city means the victims won’t be noticed so much. They sleep in abandoned old houses and sometimes they trade their houses for better ones with other street dancing unicorns. Some tend to stay in their houses forever though, never moving home. They sleep in beds like humans and are awake from 8pm to 5am. Watch out for these times in big cities. They live alone but sometimes work together when hunting. Luckily there are only 20 in existence across the world, so hopefully you never meet one. They lay their eggs in their homes and then if someone buys the house they sometimes get eaten by these hatchlings unsuspectingly. Their favourite place to lay their eggs is in bed mattresses so unsuspecting victims don’t notice them until it is too late! Caution, if you notice any purple, hard, pear shaped objects with 3 yellow spots in a zig-zag design lurking in your bed, then take these to your nearest local authorities for inspection. Be warned, the eggs also have horns on top that can make you dance, so to avoid this wear ear muffs as you remove them at all times. Do anything you can to block the sound of their hypnotic song.

Street dancing unicorns eat all types of live meat. They eat using their large beak not unlike a triceratops. Their favourite meat is human and dog. They usually wait until their victim is so tired of dancing and then gobble them up. Their least favourite meat is cat as they find it a bit chewy and furry. It also takes forever to pick out their whiskers. They usually eat the feet first and then the rest of the body after. Unicornologists have been studying them for many years and have discovered they do this as it stops their victims from having a chance of running away. Very gross, but very clever!!!!

These creatures used to eat asteroids until one day one of them fell over a rock and mistakenly bit into a man’s ankle. This gave them the taste for humans. The unicorn found it so tasty he told all the other street dancing unicorns about it at their annual street dance party and it became their new diet. The interesting thing is they can turn into whatever or whoever they eat. Scientists think they can do this as their blood absorbs the DNA of their prey once eaten. This can make them very dangerous as it acts as a disguise allowing them to move between humans without discovery.  This creature, despite walking on it’s back legs it is extremely DANGEROUS! It is in fact, the most dangerous animal in the world and has no natural predators, so look out! 

Most stret dancing unicorns, although deadly can be very stupid. They might think you are also a unicorn and will leave you alone, if you are lucky. If you are unlucky enough to bang into one, then please remember to sing the only song they hate! This is The Macarena. They hate line dancing and only love street dancing. So sing it loud. As soon as the street dancing unicorn covers their ears, then run as fast as you can. If you are hit by their dance beam then sorry, but you are DOOMED! Their dance beams can make anything dance, from a God to an amoeba. 

These animals are being driven out of cities by highly trained unicornologists and bounty hunters to keep people safe. These creatures are indestructible and unless they learn to not eat people there is no hope that cities or people will be safe again. The unicornologist are quarantining any they find and trying to convince them to once again eat asteroids instead. So far, they have only convinced a quarter. Five out of the remaining 20 are now eating asteroids again. If they cannot contain and re-train the other 15 then everyone living in cities will perish. They need to find the master street dancer who started the whole thing off and fire him into space! Just so you know, their powers are ineffective in space.