Dear human

I am fed up of you putting rat poison in the kitchen, not only is it messy, but it could really hurt me. It’s very rude of you trying to not only get me out of your house, but trying to kill me is barbaric. My family have lived in your house for generations and you only do it now. I get rid of unwanted food so nothing goes to waste, do you know what happens to the leftovers on the counter. I hope read you this letter with dignity, respect and understanding!

All the best Bernard Mousington