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The teacher-clone goblin

   The Teacher-Clone Goblin 

 

 

 The Teacher-Clone goblin is rather common. Perhaps you may have seen this adorable creature in your local schools but if you are a teacher, beware! Generally, these creatures are harmless to us humans, although they have been found to attack teachers with cuteness before cloning them. Surprisingly, this curious creature is super nice to children with learning disabilities. 

Almost all of these fantastic creatures have soft black fur; hamster-like cheeks; chestnut-brown puppy eyes and pale brown ears with great hearing. Unusually small, this creature is one of the most miniscule goblins to ever exist at only 20cm (about twice the length of the long edge of a credit card)! Amazingly, this goblin adores teachers and when cloning makes sure that they pursue the best version of the teachers’ selves. 

Many people believe that the teacher-clone goblin lives in trees on playgrounds of unsuspecting schools but this is not the case. They have been found living in teachers’ supply cupboards and drawers as well. These creatures are only found in primary schools in Northamptonshire and Susant land. Cutely, they have been found making dens out of children’s school books and tests. It even helped mark the SATs! 

Some of their favorite foods are snacks that the teachers left such as: Chocolate chip cookies; Walker’s prawn cocktail crisps; Whiteboard pens; Protein bars; Cheese sandwiches and peperoni sticks (extra spicy). As tea is very delicious to the species, they love to drink it. Also, don’t ever give them coffee they hate it! If you want to give these cute creatures a treat leave a doughnut and some custard creams as these are their ultimate favourites.  

Here are some fun facts about The Teacher-Clone Goblin. Weirdly, this creature enjoys doing crosswords and puzzles before drifting off to sleep. They were discovered about a decade ago after a mysterious mess was left in the cupboard of Miss Smith at Meadowside primary school in Burton Latimer. These are the most intelligent goblins known to man as they can tell the time and solve math problems. 

One of the many hobbies of this amazing creature is typing up fun lessons for the teachers, the kids love it as well! Also, they enjoy reading books, sharpening pencils and completing the children’s homework. Doing all of these activities expands their vocabulary. 

In conclusion, we believe that this creature deserves a chance. A chance to live in peace not fear. If you have one of these goblins in your school, please make sure that the dinner ladies don’t cook it because that is the main cause of these poor creatures’ death. Be a good person and raise money for the teacher-clone goblin! 

the school goblin

The School Goblin 

The school goblin lives in Meadowside Primary and it lingers under the school desks. Unsurprisingly, its main purpose is to terrorize small children. Conveniently, it fits under the desks of children (even though it is quite fat). 

Appearance 

It has the mystical wings of a devil and horns as deadly as venom. Surprisingly, it has black horns unlike a devil. However, its skin is red and scaly. This devilish creature is typically between 30 and 40cm (about 1.31 ft) tall and is usually very plump because they love to snack all day long!  

Diet 

These naughty creatures love to steal the teacher’s snacks! In fact, their favorite is cookies. Also, they take lunch from innocent little children, although they always leave the crusts from sandwiches. As a result, the poor children don’t have any food left to eat so they go hungry all afternoon! They are left with nothing. 

Surprising features 

Interestingly, they manage to hunt little kids and tickle their feet and get them in trouble for giggling. They really are a terror! Strangely, they are also brilliant swimmers and they enjoy getting the coach to the swimming pool with the children when they have swimming lessons. A final fascinating fact is that they like to sharpen pencils and when people are naughty, they throw a pencil at them! 

Conclusion 

These interesting creatures are very helpful in keeping children in check at school. Please join our campaign to raise awareness and help them with their snacking addiction. Thank you.  

Ye Olde Terrier Goblin

The Terrier Goblin  

             Written by Charles and Jack 

The Terrier goblin is a moderately rare species of goblin; less than 3000 are still alive. Usually, they can be seen between 11.00am and 1.30pm (Lunchtime). This is because it is currently being hunted by two other species of goblin. 

Appearance 

This strange looking creature has a visible pimple on its nose. It has a short tail around 10 to 18 cm (about 7.09 inches). Furthermore, it has a ragged brown cloak to blend in with the public. In addition, the skin of this goblin resembles that of a chameleon, making it an expert in disguise. Also, on its head it has noticeable horns, which look like a devil’s horn. 

Habitat 

This peculiar creature lives in the suburbs of York, and to be more specific, the holes in the walls of wooden houses on cobbled streets, such as the street of Shambles (or in your basement).  

Diet  

The diet of this fascinating goblin consists of people’s lunch. Most commonly, pizza, bacon sandwiches, hotdogs, sausage rolls, crisps, Coca Cola, and cake. Top Tip; Always bring some spare lunch if you are headed to York! 

Surprising features 

The way they give birth to their infants is fascinating. When they overheat, the pimple on their nose pops and babies fly out of the leftover pimple. It fights in its tribe, which it done to prove its dominance over others of its kind. Over its long lifespan, the terrier goblin has developed camouflaged skin to be able to hide from its main predator: the Canadian Arctic Goblin. 

Hobbies 

As you can tell by now, the terrier goblin loves nothing more than to munch on humans’ food that they are looking forward to. It does not enjoy the food as much if it knows that the human was not enjoying it anyway. Therefore, it only goes for the tastiest of meals! Bizarrely, it also loves hi-jacking valuable trains from the national railway museum and the main station in York. 

A campaign to raise awareness for this rare species is spreading across the world as we are now aware of a killer goblin called the Canadian Arctic Goblin and a slightly less bad kind of goblin, the Intimidating Goblin. If you ever come across a Terrier Goblin, give it food, take it home and protect it. They are not going to last long if we keep losing 570 of them a year. Do what you can to save them and go to the closest charity and donate £3.00 for their survival. Thank you for helping to raise awareness.