the goods and bads
You are an Autumn leave waiting to fall ,
and be picked up and taken home ,
for a child’s picture .
You are Christmas
with presents spreading
joy and cheer .
You are a deflated balloon,
Sadly waiting for someone to fill me up again.
.
You are a baby robin that fell out of its nest
into a cloud of snow waiting to be rescued .
You are are a lonely boy
waiting for a new friend.
Hi,
We love your work but we have a couple of ideas to improve it.
1) Maybe you could add more information to the short paragraphs?
2) We liked the ‘ Autumn leaf waiting to fall’ sentence.
3) Where could the lonely boy be?
Altogether good job on this poem.
From Thandi and Ava- SMP