You are…
You are …
You’re you no matter what you believe in or what gender you want to be or skin tone you are you.
You’re a star, at day lost without being stolen, at night appearing without being fetched.
You’re lego, as hard as splitting a atom.
You’re Fun, scattering from place to place changing feeling’s.
You’re a hurricane causing chaos big as a moon, as tall as mount Everest, small as thief born in to being taut no love
I love the first line of your poem, Max. I wonder if, on rereading it, your first line would be better as the last line? What do you think?
I really like the Lego bit! A very unique idea in that line! Maybe you could of been more descriptive with the piece of Lego!
thanks for the feed back the litle slab legos is what i’m talking about so hard to split !
I love the part where you used you’re a star,at day lost without being stolen.
1. I like the fact that your poem is really deep.
2. Have you star gazed before?
3. I think you could maybe use some more describing words.
yeah its deep. i have star gazed before. true i could have used more discription.
I think it is very good , I like the second line about the star. What made you think of the name? I think it would be a bit better if you put the second one as the last.
I like the start. How did this come to mind? And maybe you could work on your making the sentence longer.
I loved how you said you’re fun scattering from place to place changing feelings.
Have you ever seen a hurricane?
Maybe you could add more punctuation.