The crumbling bike
A bike sits,
waiting impatiently
leant on an ancient elm.
Its handles jutting out like an elephants tusks.
Cogs clatter to a strong beat,
a heavy chain clicks into place
chrome falls back like a shimmering snowflake.
Waiting endlessly.
The wheels are frozen spider webs,
urging to be moved once again.
The spindles crumbling due to rust,
wishing to be replaced.
Moss covers its rusted frame
like a blanket on a child.
The saddle stays,
waiting to be loved again from its owner.
The bell chimes
for the last time…
The bike starts to crumble,
it starts to splutter and shake!
Its owner returns at the last second
no…a second too late.
Hi!This is Justas and Bella from MrGs emporium!this writing has very good effort in it well done!
1.I love your idea “the saddle stays,waiting to be loved again from its owner”.
2.Why is it waiting where has the owner gone?
3.instead of “the saddle stays” why not “The saddle sits and waits”?
But very well done from Me and Justas your writing was very clever!
Hi Lilly we really like the line cogs clatter to a strong beat .
How are the cogs clattering??
Maybe you can add how loud the cogs are clattering to the strong beat
From Casey and Caiden 🙂
Hi Lilly,
I really like the line “the wheels are frozen spider webs.”
When did the owner come find the bike?
Maybe you could find a different word then bike.
Hi Lilly
I like the sentence chromes falls back like a shimmering snowflake.
Where has the owner been I wonder?
Well done, I love it!
To Lilly
1. I really like how you’ve said at second to late’
2. Where has the owner been? Has he been gone for a long time?
Maybe you could extend some of the sentences.
You are a very talented writer.
From Brooke.