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They were back-Olivia SWW

Lightning flashed over the lead grey sky, the echoing silence crept in and the fiery orange light faded.  One at a time, shadow black figures walked, at a snail’s pace, into the very centre of the city. Above them, a red as blood moon glinted down. Suddenly, they all split, and a fully red ghost walked out with a stick of fire, her face light by the light. I stared in disbelief. They were back!

9 Responses to “They were back-Olivia SWW”

  1. Amazing work I like how thrilling it is.

  2. I LOVE this story opening!
    Especially the bit where you said I stared in disbelief!
    Bella

  3. Hi! So, I really like this, great vocabulary! Did you enjoy writing this opening? Well, you could improve by maybe making it a bit more suspense! But, this is very descriptive and I enjoyed it!

  4. What Abdullah great opening! You might want to change the first ‘light’ to brightened or another word that could make sense and always make sure it makes sense. Other than that it is great!

  5. I like the lead grey part, who is the ghost .

  6. Pout sum small sentences for suspense

  7. Great opening really hooked me in. I wonder if you found a way to describe the ghost rather than tell us it’s a ghost – it might be even more worrying.

  8. I love his you have left it on a cliffhanger, it leaves the reader stunned and shocked. It makes the reader ask who is back. Now I really really want to read on.

  9. 1. We LOVED the mystery at the end.
    2.Why did the red ghost have fire.
    3. You could improvre on your description.

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