Mrs KitKat
Paolo hastily ran into Sir Francis Drake Primary, his curly hair swaying as the wind blowed against him. He could hear Mrs KitKat, the new science teacher, explaining how to coat chocolate over biscuits.
As Paolo slowly opened the old wooden door, it creaked so loud that everybody’s heads turned to face him.”Sorry I’m late Mrs KitKat.” Jordan could see that the teacher wasn’t smiling, nor was she frowning. “Jordan Smith, I would like to know why you are coming in at 12:30, but later. Since I asked everyone to name all the ingredients in kikats and they all said no, I have no choice but to force you to do it. “ Jordan was so shocked by this all the hairs on his head went up. “Uh, okay.” Then he started. From milk to cocoa butter, cocoa mass to whey powder and finally he reached the end three hours later. The sky was pitch black and it was 3:30. “School is over! Make sure to do your homework!” the teacher shouted.
Jordan ambled out the school, crying and moaning.”I’m never coming back to this place again!” He mumbled.
I like that there was humor in Mrs.Kitkats name and she made him list all the ingredients.
Why was he late to school?
Your writing is missing a suspenseful element. Could someone be waiting for him outside of the school?