The party
Jason came into the room that was filled with speakers blaring out music.He was silent,no one took any notice of him, just a poor scruffy boy.At the party, girls were wearing dresses and boys were wearing suits.But Jason wasn’t.He now regretted coming to this party,he was to shy.Just then, a tall boy named Alfie waltzed in,it was all eyes on him.As he came forward a crowd formed around him as he started to dance.No one , no one at all saw the poor boy Jason standing in the far corner of the room, the most isolated corner. Then a girl called Charlie walked up to him. She was not rich, not vein and very kind. “Come on ” she said, come and dance.Jason trusted her, he got up and started dancing. An hour later, the party ended and everyone went home for the party next week.
I like how you wrote Jason came into the room that was filled with speaker blaring out music
Maybe you could get more commas.
I like that it was about a party . Could you tell me what happed when they left