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The Airship Tragedy

Abruptly, the eerie clouds swooped heavily shattering the ramshackle airship. The squally winds howled so violently that Captain Spooner’s moustache danced with the unpredictable rhythm of the hostile wind. Below them stood staggering rocks at immense sizes so high that they poked the foundation of the skyship. Suddenly, the wind blew even louder that the weary blanket slowly tore. It was not long before the whole airship was engulfed by the sheer size of the grey clouds and the lightning ripped the sky like a child opening his birthday present. A stark blue thunder bolt struck the nearby cliffs as a huge boulder tumbled down the jagged terrain and then sunk in the deep blue ocean.

 

Captain Spooner stumbled around the airship as it lurched from side to side. An enormous storm was brewing on the horizon as the blanket tore fully and the airship slowly descended to the ground. Within seconds the skyship had crashed on the rocky surface of the cliffs.

 

As the injured old man lay on the moist wet mud he groaned as he tried to ascend himself to walk but couldn’t. Soon after Captain Spooner had surveyed the area and picked anything useful from the crash site. He began to bushwack through the dense rainforest nearby in hope to find civilisation. He swung his machete on and on as his arm began to turn numb due to how long he was bushwacking for. Suddenly, he fell on the wood chipped floor. Blood drooled out from his body. Soon his eyes closed and darkness filled his head…

 

9 Responses to “The Airship Tragedy”

  1. Jack S Hallsville
    I like how the ship was tilting side to side. I also like the title.

  2. i like your oem umar it is very detaled and welldone

  3. Umar, we loved listening to your story and especially loved the phrase, “Captain Spooner’s moustache danced with the unpredictable rhythm of the hostile wind.” How long did it take you to write this?

  4. I love the vocabulary that you used like hostile winds and Captain Spooner’s moustache danced with the unpredictable rhythm of the hostile wind.

  5. paddy S Hallsvile March 11, 2021 at 10:27 am

    really good story but something to improve is maybe put a little less descriptive words or your can confuse readers

  6. 1. I like when you added lots of intresting adjectives.
    2. You should use some alliterations.

  7. Hi Umar, I really like your writing.I like when you said “Abruptly, the eerie clouds swooped heavily shattering the ramshackle airship.”

  8. This is a great piece of work I like the part when it says Abruptly, the eerie clouds swooped heavily shattering the ramshackle airship. I also like how you put Ellipses at the end that make me think what going to happen next.one thing I would say is that you put he twice as an sentence openers. I think you should think about them when you write part two. Can’t wait to see part two of your story.

  9. This is amazing keep it up I like this sentence “Captain Spooner’s moustache danced with the unpredictable rhythm of the hostile wind.”

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