Chapter 4: The Mysterious Return by Harry
Chapter 4: The Mysterious Return.
Suddenly, the room began to slowly get covered in ink.
“Think, think, think, what to do, what to do, what to do.” whispered Jimmy. He looked to find the tallest tree. He saw the tree Jimmy carefully ran to it trying not to be seen. He climbed and made it to the top. In a couple of minutes he searched for the door but he couldn’t find it anywhere. All he saw was the ink monster that seemed to be guarding something by the wall. Jimmy knew that he was guarding the exit to the room. How can I get him to move? Jimmy thought as he started climbing down the tree. He had an idea he would get some ink and make the ink monster grow bigger by sucking it up and then he could escape while the ink monster was collecting more ink. He got some ink and placed it outside the forest and saw the ink and went to it.
“Now is my chance” said Jimmy quietly he ran to the door and tugged nothing he pulled again nothing. Then, he noticed that the ink thing was coming for him but he couldn’t open the door. Then Jimmy blacked out, he woke up and he was in the emporium.
“What happened?” said Jimmy with confusion he decided not to hang around there any longer and to run out the door.
“Please come again” shouted someone in the emporium Jimmy turned around to see who it was but the emporium was gone. maybe he will go tomorrow just maybe.
Hi Harry, I love this post. I really enjoyed the repetition at the start. Maybe you could improve on the commas and paragraphs. Keep up the good work, Olivia SWW
Hey Harry!
Great chapter 4 its amazing!
Could you maybe add a couple more paragraphs?
Maybe in the sentence “He had an idea he would get some ink and make the ink monster grow bigger by sucking it up and then he could escape while the ink monster was collecting more ink.” you’ve repeated ink and monster a lot and maybe you should on the “He had an idea” maybe you could of made it a short sentence!