Dear Mushroom Dude,

I am writing to you today to persuade you to return back to your normal human life like before you became the Mushroom Dude.

My first reason for why you should give up life working as a hero is because you cannot stop or control your mystical, floating, mushroom cap turrets; they naturally go haywire causing a huge problem for the nearby buildings and structures.

Additionally, I  am also concerned that you use dangerous bouncy mushrooms to get around which is inefficient and destructive to the nearby area, which annoys people and it can severely injure and poison people. To build on this concern, you cannot be near anyone at night because of the poisonous aura that you emit and it could spike them with poison.

I would also like to mention that you are too slow and save about one percent of the people who are in danger. So you need to leave it up to the higher-ranked, elite heroes, to save them because you are not that good at saving people in need of help.

Although some people may suggest that you help nature, we believe that your own mushrooms appear in random places; they naturally come from the ground causing mass destruction and maybe even some places will need evacuation because of these legendarily (almost useless) mushrooms.

Some people may say you are young and powerful, on the other hand; many people say you are quite useless because you don’t save a lot of people and you are getting weaker slowly. In addition to that, most experts say you are extremely old for an average mushroom so I advise you to retire and end your career as a superhero.

Yours sincerely

Mr RockEye