Dear Sir,

I am writing to inform you about the upcoming events on the local calendar. There are some incredibly outstanding things for the upcoming future.

First, there will be a procession through the town, consisting of a wide variety of contributions. Anyone involved must take good care not to get in the way of the crowds or there will be an invincible line. The mayor will judge the best baby competition. While that’s going on, you should get some food and get yourself down to Mr Chippys and have a drink.

After that, there will be a dance display in the town square. If you are watching, please stand back so you don’t get in the way. The market will be open all afternoon.

Finally, the firework display will be held in Prince’s Park at exactly six. We hope you all have a wicked time.

Yours faithfully,

Billy Bob Kramer