Hey! You human, I’m fed up with your snoring and your hair. You hair smells like expired cheese and oil. For your snoring it makes me stay up until late midnight. Don’t you think I don’t need rest? Well I need rest too! For days you have been snoring to keep me awake and I can only sleep for 3 hours! And every Tuesday and Thursday you make me go into the washing machine! Inside all the pillows and clothes smell so bad. After I come out I am dizzy! Can’t you just wash me with your bare hands?! And do you think that I don’t need to change clothes? I actually need to change!