Into the Abandoned Town
Into The Abandoned Town
Dillian leaned over the edge in horror as the surface speedily ran up to them. They were rocking and swinging from side to side, Dillian tried his best to stay standing up, but he kept tumbling over. Thomas was trying to use a large metal pole to whack at the creature on the balloon that sliced the opposite balloon with its claws, causing a gaping hole to rip open. This made the skyship go down even faster, now the ground was a couple hundred feet away.
With a loud thud, the skyship had landed in a small open field. The balloons had completely deflated by now, so Thomas knew they’d have to be here a while. Dillian stood up with a headache, his head clanged against the skyship’s floor after they landed. Once the headache cleared, Dillian looked around the area from the skyship, the moon glistened down at the abandoned town like the sun’s beams, in the distance, the buildings looked like they had been laying there for years, ancient, abandoned. The towering church leaned over the skyship.
Thomas had just beaten the unusual looking bird on the balloon as it flew away back into the clouds, Thomas dropped the metal pole and looked around too. He looked to the right, he spotted all sorts of houses and huts, all been torn apart or burnt, dead trees that had been scattered all around left a lingering scent of burning fire. To the left of the skyship, a broken-down school had been run into the ground. The roofs of houses had gotten blown off, being left to crumble on the rocky ground. The wind was gently brushing against Thomas’s face.
Thirty minutes later after the landing, the children found themselves alone on board the Duckdagger. Captain Arnold and the rest of the crew had exited the skyship in search of materials to repair the burst balloons, leaving precise instructions not to leave the skyship. Dillian and Thomas stood on the deck in silence, staring forward at the moon. The sun had set a long time ago, so darkness had already engulfed everything. A few stars shimmered high above the clouds.
At that moment, the nearby bush shook…
Good writing i like the detail and character maybe you could use more commas or some clolons or semi-colons -JMPS
I like it I like how you ended it
I love the writing, your suspense use if really impressive!