WANTED URGENTLY: a wife for the king

Are you currently seeking a marriage? Do you know how to dance and how to please a man? Can you speak Latin? Do you want to rich and powerful and also be Queen of England? If so, look no further

We are seeking a beautiful young princess to become our beloved new queen. Who will be able to produce a son and heir. First imagine becoming the new queen and having all the riches of the land. Further more we will be offering a guaranty of protection from our many soldiers and king henry VIII. Our unimaginable offer includes lots and lots of jewellery very pretty dresses and a giant banquet every day and a life time money. Additionally, we will provide you with a beautiful home, a splendid court filled with lodes of food and exquisite chandeliers covered in diamond. If successful, you’ll be crowned queen of England and be in the paper.

Don’t miss this opportunity of a lifetime. Grab this chance of a lifetime and apply now and live in the palace

If you feel like this job is for you, you will be expected to:

• Speak Latin
• Please a husband
• Sew and give the king an heir
• Sit still and be quiet

In return, we will reward you with:

• Beautiful dresses
• All the riches of the land
• Power and banquets every day

If you’re interested in becoming our new queen please come to the palace this afternoon

Ps: you might get your head cut off