You Are Poem
You are a singing sunflower,
following the glittering sun,
in the shining daylight
You are a shimmering,shining golden bar,
waiting to be grabbed,
as the pleasant people stroll by
You are the glimmering sun,
burning bright in the sky,
giving out light
You are a joyful human,
watching a rusty silver coin,
as it falls on the grimy, stained floor.
You are an intricate puzzle,
with a dream of being put together,
while the devilish humans ignore you.
we really liked it
1 We like the alliteration and personification.
2 Why have you put 3 verses without a full stop at the end and 2 with?
3 Try and use different words for shiny.
This is a really great poem and we found it hard to get an improvement for you.