You are poem.

You are a
Piece of chocolate melting in blazing sun
Like chocolate sauce.

You are a
Beacon shining on a Lamborghini.

You are an
Orange that tastes so sweet
Like an apple when it has just been picked.

You are a
German Shepard lying in the sun
Like a lazy old cat.

You are
July without a steaming nose.

You are the sound of
a lamb when it is playing.

You are a Swan
Without a beak.

You are the Earth without
The people
Like planet Mars.

You are a car without
The wheels.

You are a storm without
The lightning.


3 Responses to “You are poem.”

  1. Hello!Im Bella I’m from MrGs Emporium!I think you’ve thought very carefully about your writing!
    1.I love that you have thought carefully about your ideas!
    2.Why does the swan have no beak?
    3.If you could change the sentence “You are a Swan with No beak”what could you change the word no to?
    4.I’m proud of you well done keep up the hard work!

  2. Hi

    1.I really like the line “A beacon shining on a Lamborghini” because I can just imagine the beam of light shining off of the Lamborghini.

    2.What type of storm was it. Was it a big storm, a small storm or a rainy storm?

    3. On the line “you are a piece of chocolate melting in blazing in the sun like chocolate sauce” I think you could say what kind of chocolate is it.

    I really like the poem you put some good ideas! Keep up the good work.
    Jax and Zoe.

  3. Hi Lenny
    1.I really like the line “You are a piece of chocolate melting in the sun”because it makes my mouth water. 2.Why did you choose chocolate sauce not something like tomato sauce? 3.Maybe you could add a bit more to the line “a swan without a beak”.
    Keeeeeeep writing!

Please leave a comment. Remember, say something positive; ask a question; suggest an improvement.

%d bloggers like this: