“Duck Amelia ”cried Jack as an enormous ball of fire came flying at a girl who had silky brown hair and thousands of freckles. It was the the second day traveling on the mystical sky ship and it was going terribly since they were being invaded by fire breathing dragons. Jack who had green emerald eyes that sparkle in the sunlight was steering the ship. “Jack ” screamed Amelia “the engine has blown up.” “Hold on, the balloon has got a hole in it ” he cried angrily. “ do I have to do everything.” CRASH ! The ship landed with a big bump. “ were are we ?” Asked Amelia. “ I don’t know but I don’t like the look of this place.” He replied.
I like all of your descriptions and verbs and it sounds very dramatic and exciting, however I notice there are some spelling mistakes and comas missing.
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I like all of your descriptions and verbs and it sounds very dramatic and exciting, however I notice there are some spelling mistakes and comas missing.
H ST Georges Mathilda
I like how you started your paragraph with “DUCK”