The Fluorescent flyer by Emily
Madeline wasn’t usually afraid of flying but this time it was different. Olivia was like a second Mum to Lucy and Madeline they never really saw there real mum she was always to busy working. Lucy couldn’t wait she wanted to fight a dragon and Madeline wanted to catch a unicorn because she really badly wants a unicorn as a pet. Madeline loves unicorns. When Lucy was walking home from the park near there house a goat followed her home and they had the goat ever since. They called him Garry, Garry the goat. After a long time of waiting, the large fluorescent sky ship finally arrived. When they finished boarding, they were very shocked the sky ship was more luxurious then the Titanic used to be. There were beds for pets, fancy ones too and fancy baths along with feeders. Their rooms were even better than that, there were four poster beds in Madelines room, there was a unicorn bed just for her and a slide that led to a swimming pool. They were having a lot of fun aboard the sky ship which was called the Fluorescent Flyer. Lucy chose the name. There was a rumble coming from under the Fluorescent Flyer, there was a majestic scaly dragon. Everyone was asleep except from Lucy, she was wide awake getting a drink of tea. It was really scary. The noise woke Lucy up but not Madeline. The dragon started to get closer suddenly…
Episode 2.
The dragon blasted a massive chunk of fire which set the ship down to the ground they were going at top speed. Lucy tried to fight the dragon but she got badly injured. The sky ship ended up crashing in the middle of the massive old and dirty field.Next to the sky ship was a shop Olivia grabbed Lucy and Madeline at this point Madeline was well awake. They all ran to the shop with Garry close behind (who is there pet goat). As soon as they saw the shop telephone they sprinted across the shop. They tried calling there mum but there was no answer. The shop that they landed next to was dilapidated old and rusty, it also smelt like some sort of smoke ,there was some sort of washing machine, they said that it sounded old and broken they bought a chocolate that apparently tasted like a candle, even though they have never tasted one ,they all said that it was the most disgusting thing they have ever tasted. When They went outside the shop they suddenly saw something from afar……………
I like this because you describe it really well so I know where you are .
Why did you pick the character?
You can make it better by using more punctuation and good words .
I love this work so much. Why did you call the charectors that name? To make it even better you could of added a bit of speech.
I really like it! What made you pick the title? Really good overall!