The ship almost crashed
After the storm hit one of the balloons have popped so the where wobbling about but Jacob had a plan. After Jacob thought of a plan he thought about how he could do it. After thinking he climbed the rope and injected air in the last balloon to make it better BUT that last balloon popped! Just incase both popped there was another inside. “few” said Jacob. “what was all that noise” said Jack. Jacob said nothing back. “LOOK OUT” shouted jack.
Hi Jacob, thank you for submitting your story. Did you read your writing aloud to yourself before clicking submit? There are a couple of sentences where a bit of editing will help it make more sense.
i like the idea very expressive
Hi, This is a good post, I love the ending. I think that what might make it better is, if you try and use commas and full stops a little more because it sounds a little fast, so try and do that for next time. It is great though.