Exclusive report written by Frankie Jack, Professional Ogre Correspondent, Slingsby Chronicle.

Earlier this morning, Steve Leaf, 23 years old, allegedly spotted five ogres rummaging for food in dustbins in Slingsby.

Steve, who lives in Slingsby, spotted the ogres behaving suspiciously at around 6am. Steve mentioned that ogres are very rare to find in residential areas. He added, “I saw them on my morning jog.” He described them as “green with big ears wearing leather jackets.”

Slingsby police have warned all local residents to stay alert as the beasts have a very high chance of coming back for food. Mr Butler, who is an ogre specialist, has told us that ogres are very rare so do not try to harm them and keep your distance as they may bite.

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