Chapter 3:The hut by Laurence
As she entered she heard the sound of the birds chirping and the sun glistening Upon the water and the cave was a home with many animals. As she went down the path some of the trees about her had sun seeping through them.
Inside the hut there were many chairs around a big long table. There was a small kitchen filled with tea cups And pictures that seemed to have only scenery in them. Food was in the oven and sandwiches and plates out on the table. As she went upstairs she found three rooms each with neatly folded blankets and comfy beds.
Inside the bedrooms there were trinkets the size and shape And the room had a sense of familiarity with her.
Through the window she could see a beautiful garden and the hill behind With daisies like a blanket of white snow across it.
But as she started to feel safe and felt love for the hut. Something you change theory that she was being watched fell upon her. She did not like it. She headed for the front door and then heard it. A creek came behind her.A man in a mask and black approached her. She hand 2 option: run or scream. She ran…
Hi Laurence I love this piece of writing. Amazing use of ellipsis. Did you like writing this piece? Next time, could you write the word two not put it as a number 2. Keep up the good work,
Olivia SWW
Hi. This was a great chapter.
You used ‘she’ a lot, and never mentioned a character’s name. Is this on purpose, or did you just forget?
In your first sentence and fourth paragraph, you used capital letters in the middle of a sentence.
Creek should be creak in your last paragraph.
Nice job.
Hi Laurence! Great work!
1. I like the sentence Through the window she could see a beautiful garden and the hill behind With daisies like a blanket of white snow across it.
2. Do you like writing pieces of writing like this?
3. Could you try and use different types of sentence starters.
From Ava SWW
Hi Laurence, I really really like your piece of work. You’ve left it on a cliff hanger that I like. Why did you keep adding she not the characters name? Next time you should use the characters name.
Hi Laurence this is amazing.
I just have to ask were did you get the idea from?
You could of checked over your work and done some tweeks but overall this is great!