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Flying toilet rolls

BREAKING NEWS! TOILET ROLLS SPOTTED FLYING AROUND CAERSWS!

We are interrupting this programme to tell you that yesterday we received thousands of reports from citizens in Caersws, Wales. Village folk have reported seeing toilet rolls flying around the village.

Some residents have claimed to have seen toilet rolls spouting from the river that Loch Ness is rumoured to be sighted. According to reports this is Loch Ness’ revenge on pollution.

Now, over to Reporter Williams in Caersws.

“Hello. I’m with eye- witness Elizabeth Le Maître. I’m on the bank of the river where people have said Loch Ness is. Now, Elizabeth, tell me. What did you see yesterday?”

“Well, I was on a walk by river Hafren when my attention was drawn to a spouting near the middle of the river. And then what happened was that a dozen or so toilet rolls bounced on my head!”

“Interesting. How did that make you feel? What did you do next?”

“At first, I felt rather annoyed that dirty, sodden toilet rolls had been spouted on my head but then what I had seen sunk in. I had seen Loch Ness, THE Loch Ness! Then, I rushed to the local chippies and burst in, quite dramatically.”

“And you are still of firm belief that you saw Loch Ness?”

“Definitely. I mean, other people have seen the same thing. So, that proves it doesn’t it?”

“Did anyone else see this?”

“No, no one else was there as it was near lunchtime.”

“Thank you. Goodbye. Back to you, Rebecca.”

“Thank you, Williams. Anyone who has also seen this will please tell the police. For now, though, it’s time for the weather report. So, it’s goodbye from me. Have a nice day.”

Isabelle and Lillian

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