What to do if you meet a centaur

If you see a unique thing, read these instructions to know what to do. If a brave centaur lands in your bushes and you see it eye-to-eye with a warrior being from the depths of the forbidden forest, then these pairs of instructions may save your life!

Lucky for you, only mental abilities can do this :

• First check this is an actual centaur and not your neighbour that’s taking their bins out. Some features are :

• Long smelly hair

• Talking about killing Dolores Umbridge

• Looks half-human and half- horse

• Astrology mindset

• Keeps spinning and saying ‘ Harry in danger’

• 2. Next, make sure you don’t look straight into its eyes because they might see that you are not their friend. Start to open a conversion. Some openers are:
• Hello!
• Who are you?
• Would you like a cuppa?
• Where did you come from?
• I like that costume you have on- did you get it at NEXT?

3. Finally, if the centaur seems angry, then you have some options:

• Shout ‘DROP YOUR BOW AND GO AWAY’
• Set your pet on them
• Say the moon is fading to make them think their astrology is not working which will make them weak.
• If they don’t care, you’re in trouble
• If all these things don’t work, RRRRR UUUUUUUU NNN.

If you do meet a centaur, soak all the instructions in. Make sure you feel calm. If you don’t you could end up dead. Especially, if they’re armed with their arrows.

How to know if you’ve been kidnapped by centaurs

• Did you wake up with a 

moon above your head?

•     Do you not remember your last birthday party?

• Have you started acting like a horse?