Tag Archives | S8 – Bolton Parish Church School

Chapter 1

Ron and Harry glanced down as skyship rose up and up.  Far below they could see the crowd but as they rose up they turned in to tiny dots. They could hear birds chirping, crowds cheering and music.  Relaxing in the middle of the spa Ron gasped loudly.  Inside him he was shaking and grinned.  Am I in trouble?.

The island of Despondency

On the island of Despondency,

I saw disgusting water filled with insects,

from the Hopelessness House.


On the island of Despondency,

I heard completely loss of hope,

from the Forest of Despare.



On the island of Despondency,

I drank unwelcome juice,

from the sea of gloom,

like poison.


How to get away from a GENIE

How to get away from a GENIE

If you see an animal that you have never seen before, read this now and do what it tells you to do. If there is a pot in the middle of your attic. These instructions may save you and get some stuff you need for free.

You’re in luck because you don’t need any object. Your going to need to do:

  • First check if it is really a genie pot and not a teapot then it will look weird when your parents come. You might need to know:

A. stripes around it and patterns.

B. Talking straight away.

C. staring at it when it comes out.

D. stand still for respect.

2. Next, don’t look down, try tying your shoelace or drop something on the floor and get it if you don’t, it means you’re going to break the pot. Try speaking calmly and normally maybe like this:

  • HI.
  • I am bob.
  • Nice to meet you.
  • Would you like some tea and biscuits?
  • What are you up to?
  • I like the pot. Did you get it from tescos?

3. Finally, if the Genie seems a bit off then:

  • Scream “I wish that you go where you were found!”;
  • Tell baba to get the slipper out;
  • Daydream about a pizza with sauce dripping and cheese stretching;
  • If it gives 1 wish it’s a bad genie.
  • If none of these work, SLOWLY WALK AWAY.

If you find a Genie you’ll need to remember the instructions. Make sure you don’t make it hurt you. The consequences could be really bad.It will be really bad if they have a bubblegum poisoner in their hair.

Find out if you’re in the real world or in the pot.

  • Did you wake up in a blue striped room?
  • Is there a blue pillow under your head?
  • Are you sleeping on the floor?
  • Did you dream of having tea?

What to do if you meet a centaur

What to do if you meet a centaur

If you see a unique thing, read these instructions to know what to do. If a brave centaur lands in your bushes and you see it eye-to-eye with a warrior being from the depths of the forbidden forest, then these pairs of instructions may save your life!

Lucky for you, only mental abilities can do this :

  • First check this is an actual centaur and not your neighbour that’s taking their bins out. Some features are :
  • Long smelly hair
  • Talking about killing Dolores Umbridge
  • Looks half-human and half- horse
  • Astrology mindset
  • Keeps spinning and saying ‘ Harry in danger’
  • 2. Next, make sure you don’t look straight into its eyes because they might see that you are not their friend. Start to open a conversion. Some openers are:
  • Hello!
  • Who are you?
  • Would you like a cuppa?
  • Where did you come from?
  • I like that costume you have on- did you get it at NEXT?


  1. Finally, if the centaur seems angry, then you have some options:


  • Set your pet on them
  • Say the moon is fading to make them think their astrology is not working which will make them weak.
  • If they don’t care, you’re in trouble
  • If all these things don’t work, RRRRR UUUUUUUU NNN.

If you do meet a centaur, soak all the instructions in. Make sure you feel calm. If you don’t you could end up dead. Especially, if they’re armed with their arrows.

How to know if you’ve been kidnapped by centaurs


  • Did you wake up with a 

moon above your head?


  •     Do you not remember your last birthday party?


  • Have you started acting like a horse?


How to tame a unicorn

If you are in trouble and there are minotaurs chasing you (for some reason) read this to find out its greatest fear. If the Atlas sisters have almost killed the world with minotaurs, you could end up being a superhero!

Fortunately, none of the equipment is expensive. What you could do is:


  1. Make sure it has black fur but check if it’s a pony, otherwise this treatment won’t work. Unicorn features include:


  1. Spiky teeth and a really long horn
  2. Screeching to call friends
  3. A love for Skittles
  4. Family-friendly
  5. Lives in dark caverns
  1. Next, beware of its long horn! It could strike you one second and the next second, you’d be dead! Try to talk calmly and don’t make it afraid. Use words like this:


  • Hello,
  • I’m your friend.
  • Here are some sweets (make sure they’re skittles)
  • It’s all right
  • Come on, let’s fight some minotaurs.
  1. After that, if the unicorn is slightly jumpy, here are some things you could try:


  • Whisper gently, “Calm down, Jamal,”
  • Give sweeties
  • Stroke its fur gently
  • If these don’t work, I got nothin’.

Finally, If any minotaurs are roaming around, (and you need a pet unicorn) just use these instructions. Remember, keep the unicorn calm. Otherwise, you’ll become the No.1 supervillain!

How to know if you have the unicorn plague


  • Have you seen rainbow **** on the ground?
  • Do you dream about candy floss clouds?
  • Are you eating too many carrots?
  • Did you start growing fur?
  • Are there skittles popping up in your drawers?
  • Do you hear galloping all the time?

What to do if you meet an alien

What to do if you meet an Alien

f you see a UFO land on your house you need to be sure if it’s a real alien because it might be a kid trying to scare you by coming in a fake UFO and wearing an alien costume. These instructions might help you.

Thankfully nothing is needed. What you need to do:


  1. First check if the Alien is hurt or not. If it is then it’s a nice alien if its not, be extra careful. It might have features like:


  1. Big ears
  2. Small nose
  3. Green slimy skin
  4. No hair
    2. Next, don’t talk fast or slow, it will think that you are angry and dangerous. start a normal conversation like:

    • Hi what’s your name
    • My name is John
    • Welcome to my house John
    • Would you like a cup of tea 
    • No thanks
    • I like your house is it for rent
    • No its not
    • I like your cars and garages
    • Thank you, are you a nice alien?
    • Yes don’t worry I will protect you
    • Your the best alien I have ever met
    3. Finally, if the alien is dangerous pay attention:

    • Shout, “ what do you want
    • Set your dog on them;
    • Think about getting a knife
    • Don’t get a gun
    • Don’t punch it
    If you actually meet an alien don’t run, talk calmly and don’t go close or don’t touch it because they might have their whole army in their UFO.
    How to Know if you have  been abducted by aliens

    • Did you find a toy UFO in your cupboard?
    • Is there a scratch or a mark on your hand?
    • Do you think you have an imaginary friend?


What should you do if you meet an alien

If you are surprised by meeting an unexpected alien, read these instructions about what you should do.If a spaceship has landed into your garden and you need help, read this and you will know what you can do.

Surprisingly, there is no chainsaw or anything dangerous required in our list.What you might do:

1.First check if the alien is coming out of the spaceship.Things that might be useful

A.Big eyes and tall 


B.Talking in a different language


C.Keeps making weird noises


D.Green scary looking


E.keeps saying that it is cold

2.Next, try to high five or wave at the alien will make it think a sign of aggression.These are some things that you might include

  • Hello fella 
  • I’m Ibrahim
  • Would you like to grab a munch with me
  • I like that green costume of your’s


3.Finally, if the alien seems angry then you have our options to use.

  • You should shout, ‘Go back where you came from.’
  • If you have a dog wake it up and tell it to bark
  • If the alien loves the colour yellow you in a lot of trouble

If you ever meet an alien, read the instructions which will tell you what to do, even if the alien is locked and loaded with a laser gun.


If you ever meet an alien, read the instructions which will tell you what to do, even if the alien is locked and loaded with a laser gun.

  • Did you wake up in the morning and think to yourself whose house are you in?
  • Do you not know what happened?
  • Is your memory gone?



What to do if you meet Zeus

What to do if you meet Zeus (the king of gods)


If you ever feel shocked by a weird greeting by a king of gods, read through this and you will know what to do. If a Pegasus has ever landed near your garden and you make eye contact with a Greek god made from the ancient city of Atlantis,Crete, these instructions will save you from your death!


Luckily, no magic equipment is needed. This is what you might do:


  1. First check that he really is Zeus and not a kid trying to pretend he is him. Some features of him will include:


A.Very large hair that has not been cut off in a very long time;


  1. He will talk in a language that is Ancient Greek;


  1. Wears a robe and has a crown that is not suitable for humans;


  1. He can read your mind and he can say what you are going to say next;


  1. Always brags about, ‘being the king of the gods’.


  1.  Next, do not touch him, do not try to high five him and ESPECIALLY DO NOT TRY TO GO FOR A TOUCH WITH YOUR FIST as this can be seen as abuse to him. Try to just make him feel comfortable in the way he is and try to start a conversation with him. Good starters are:


  • Hello there
  • I’m Jamal 
  • What is your name?
  • Do you need anything?
  • You alright lad?
  • I like the robe – did you get it from JD?


  1. Finally, if he seems aggressive to you then just do one of these things here:
  • Shout , ‘ Go back to being alone’;
  • Set your pet on them;
  • Think about how he used to not be king of the gods and then he will get sad and go back with his Pegasus;
  • If you are wearing blue, it will scare Zeus off;
  • If all fail, then just RUN.


If you ever do meet Zeus, just do the instructions above and do any other thing if they do not work.Make sure you do not put them under pressure.This can cause an earthquake and can be horrifying.Especially, if Zeus has a sword or any sort of weapons.


How to know if you have been captured by Zeus

  • Have you woken up and not been in your home?
  • Can you not remember anything?
  • Are there marks on your body?
  • Are you strapped onto some sort of cloud?
  • Do you dream of dreaming?
  • Have you got no friends?

Persuasive Letter to Cylone the superhero

Dear Cylone,

I am writting to persuade you to come to Pakistan and get rid of kidnapping and stealing.

My first reason is kidnapping and stealing is very common in Pakistan in Pakistan we need help RIGHT NOW.

I would also like to add that Uzair Jan Baloch, the robber just robbed the bank and it has affected Pakistan ALOT.

Furthermore, I am concerned that if you don’t arrive to Pakistan before Uzair Jan Baloch robbs he can even KILL PEOPLE NOW so we really need you.

To build on this concern, If I where you I would make a cylone to Pakistan.

I would like to piont out that, people say superhero’s are really dramatically made.

On the other hand, many people want to know how you got your power and there not believing you have power.

Some people even claim that, your the worst but we believe your the best.

Although, some people suggest you visiting is an awful idea, we believe it will help the people in Pakistan.

However, the country council are not 100% sure about the visit.

Alternatively, you can teach children what to do if you see a robber or a kidnapper and visit other country’s and support local police.

The main reason for this is, it will help us know you are real and you can allways be there to help us.

We believe this must happen it will make our country a better and safer place to live.

Thank you for reading my letter, I hope you come soon.

Your sincerely,

Hadiyah BP Y4

The email

Dear  Elektra,

I am writing this email to persuade you to stop following Batwoman and go back to living a normal life  with your family.
My first point is that for 5 years you have been behind Batwoman’s back and never took a break from her .

She treats you like dirt and thinks you’re a robot

. I think you need to be treated better than this .Have you not been seeing  the way she ignores you in public when her fans are around her?

Do you not remember when Batwoman forgot who you were  ? 

Have you not noticed every time her fans want to take a photo  she doesn’t want you to be in it ?.

I am also concerned about if this is going to affect your studies like your math because from what i’ve been seeing your scores   have been very  low  for 

example 28 out of 40, 11/100 and all sorts ,  i don’t know if it’s because of the following Batwoman ,you have been doing great at English  but you just need to do great at the other lessons not just  your English

To build on this,I would like to say that you need to do well in your exams that are coming up next year  and if you get a good score you will be able to be a superhero again.

 Batwoman can see how hard it is doing your job while you’re at school doing your exams.She is older and has probably already graduated from university now it’s your turn to graduate  plus she is richer and has so many people waiting to be a superhero.

Have you ever sat back and relaxed and wondered what would happen if you’re busy in school?

 have never thought that Batwoman will fire you and you will have nowhere to go because you have decided not to study for your exams. 


To summarise,why not give up following Batwoman and go back to your studies and live the life that Batwoman has.
Your sincerely -Superwoman