Haunted buddies

John creaked open the door of the haunted museum. “Wow”Billy bellowed.”Sh!”John whispered. Lit cobwebbed chandeliers hung from the crooked ceiling, the stuffed animals looked like they were screaming and the artefacts looked a pale green. “COOL!”Billy bellowed again. “Stop it!”John said annoyed. Billy turned away and started to look amazed again.

Instantly,the candle flames flickered,the doors slammed shut and what looked like one million ghosts started to appear. John looked in horror and Billy looked in dazzlement. John grabbed Billy and ran for the door. It wouldn’t open! He twisted the knob left then right, left then right. Then it opened and John ran out dragging Billy. “That was fun!” cheered Billy. “Ur!”John moaned as he thought he should have not chosen Billy to come with him.

3 Responses to “Haunted buddies”

  1. I like the bit were you say the candle flames flickered

  2. Frank SWW
    Well done Otto I love the sentence were it say’s, the doors shut, it was like there was a million ghost.
    But look at your first sentence. John creaked the door open. It doesn’t go together
    Do you like writing? Because looking at that piece of work it looks like you really like writing.

  3. I think how you made this good for suspense writing but check some parts of it

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