I feel a little breeze on the Sky Ship, It will take hours until we land. One hour later, there was lightning and heavy rain. Hopefully the balloons don’t pop and we don’t crash. There was monsters chasing us and we was about to crash the sky ship was tipping, the monster was green and slimy.
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I love it! I wonder if the monsters nice.
I loved your opening sentence, because it made me feel like I was there! How did the character feel at this point of the story? Could you give the reader more information about the setting?
A great story well done.could you do a bit more?
This was good it would be even better if you put more detail in, there was monsters chasing us and you missed a comma after crash but this is still good keep up the good work.