The adventure on the sky ship
The sky ship
Aboard Sky Ship was a white balloon and wooden planks of the tree of wisdom. Suddenly, the Sky Ship rocked and the dragon popped the balloon like blowing out candles on your birthday. Captain Scribbles shouted “Grab a parachute!”. Just in the nick of time. John pulled the parachute cord. BOOM. Not a soul spoke.
We climbed up the mountain, but no one was there, not even a car on the road. The crew waited and waited but no one came “This is all your fault John” boomed the captain, “IF WE WENT OVER THE RIVER WE WOULD HAVE BEEN FINE”. John didn’t want to displease the captain. Abruptly, life around us was fading in to darkness. Sam screamed ”Look a bus! and a stop for it!”. We ran to it, but before we could reach the bus top, the dragon got up from the crash and roared its deafening roar.
Spreading it’s gigantic wings, the dragon swooped down and picked off the bus as if it were light as a feather. The dragons yellow, gold and brown belly light up the darkness. Scared, the crew turned around only to see the dragon coming back for them. Is this the end?
1. Hello! We love how you have left it on a cliffhanger!
2. What mountain is it? Or what is it called?
3. Next time maybe use even better adjectives! Maybe you could use a better word instead of gigantic maybe colossal (etc)
But overall great work and ideas!
1. I really like the name of this story!
2.Maybe add some suspence?
3.It could be a bit longer bye.
Well done Ollie this a great piece of writing. I really like it when you said: ‘like blowing out candles on your birthday’. Have you checked some of your spelling and punctuation? To make it even better than it already is, you may want to make it longer. Well done.
Well done I loved the suspence you could have added some alitaration though but other than that well done.