The devil unicorn
The devil unicorn can hypnotise anyone if you stare into its deadly eyes. Its devil ears are pointy and its eyes are blood red. Its rare to see a sighting of this species. For the past year reports about the devil unicorn in the Antarctica have increased. This bad because the devil unicorn is used to warmer areas. However, the devil unicorns have evolved to become an ice unicorn from the freezing temperature. The ice unicorns are very dangerous, because when it loses its temper it shoots sharp rays of ice. Scientific discoveries say that the ice unicorn should be able to transform back into the devil unicorn if they can hold control. Last week, on the news there was shown that someone tried to pet the devil/ice unicorn and they had gotten eaten alive.
1.We like your different type of adjectives and speech as well as punctuation by commas and full stops.
2.Why did you choose a devil unicorn?
3.The only problem is really tiny you just commas in the right place.
amazing writing just a quick question where did you get your title from did you make it up? and i think you should add just 1 or 2 more verbs.
I like the descriptive words
What gave you the inspiration to do this
Read over your work to check it makes sense