The BBQ
The hot dogs sizzle
loudly as it starts to burn
like a crispy duck
The corn cobs cook on
the dangerous grill and turns
more nice and juicy
The burger patties
are fresh and succulent as
they heat up rapidly
The marshmallows melt as
they slowly start to escape
the knife sharp skewer
The ice creams all wait
impatiently as they start
to melt rapidly
Ice creams
Well done this is amazing! Maybe next time try and not make the gaps in between the verses not to big, but other than that you did excellent.
I really like this one ice cream, burger patty hot dogs it’s really good
I love that this one is pretty much what happens at a BBQ.
Maybe use a different line for the very last line.
Just make a bit more sense but altogether I think this is great!
1 I love how you chose a BBQ.
2 What made you choose a BBQ.
3 Maybe next time to try to not include ice cream when it started from a BBQ.
Wow this is amazing it made me hungry just reading it!
Good! What made you think of this?